When memories come unbidden
by PoisonA
Summary: Phoebe wants nothing more than to forget her past and move on. Trapped in a world of fear and pain, how can she forget when all her nightmares are coming true? Luckily someone very unlikely steps in to help her heal. Sirius/OC Lily/James
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey - New story! This one is somewhat different from the 2 before it because I wanted to try new styles and well the idea popped in my head last night. Anyway I will leave you to it. I hope you like and let me know what you think! Cheers.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter etc. etc. However I do own Phoebe and the rest of the original characters.

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**When memories come unbidden**

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"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear."**- H.P. Lovecraft**

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Chapter 1

_It was dark. Darker than the world at night. There were no stars, no moon, not even lights. A darkness that was evil; a darkness that surrounded everything, keeping her in place. It was also cold; not just winter cold but more… a cold that chilled the bone. She could hardly breathe, her breaths coming out in quick rasps. She turned her head to the right and then she saw them coming towards; a blacker shape than her surroundings. Their black tattered cloaks rippled behind them as they glided towards her. She couldn't move, frozen, terrified … and yet they came closer… she could her their harsh rattling breaths now, feeding on her despair… and still she remained there paralysed with her own fear… one of them withdrew a scabbed rotting hand from beneath the folds of the cloak and raised it to lower the hood… she began shaking all over… "No…" she said in nothing more but a whisper… It was upon her now and she could see its monstrous face with its gaping wide mouth…It's going to get her… No… She closed her eyes and screamed…_

Phoebe woke up but kept her eyes closed, scared that she was still trapped in her nightmare. However, the small everyday morning noises going on in the house as well as the sunshine falling on her face told her that she was back to normal, safe in her own bed. She stayed in bed, listening to her heartbeat slowing down until it reached its normal pace. Then she opened her eyes and sat up in bed facing her reflection in the mirror. She looked horrible to say the least: there were dark circles under her eyes, her hair looked like a cross between a lion's mane and an 80's rockstar hair-do, and her skin was pale and clammy. Scowling she got out of bed, determined to push the nightmare to the back of her head, just like she had been doing every day for the last week now.

Her eyes fell on her open school trunk lying by her bed and suddenly she remembered that it was her first day of school. She hurriedly rummaged for a pair of jeans and a shirt and dashed in the bathroom to have a shower. As the cool shower spray hit her skin, she felt her muscles and joints relax, cleansing away the memories, restoring her sanity.

After finding herself an empty compartment on the train, Phoebe pushed her trunk out of the way and slumped in the seat nearest the window waiting for her mates and watching the commotion on the platform outside. Through the mixture of adults, students as well as pets she spied out a family of four: the mother and father and their two kids, a boy and a girl, already in their uniforms.

The girl seemed to be a first-year since her robes were clearly brand new and she was giving out anxious glances at the scarlet train and the people around her. For some reason, she could not take her eyes off her; she looked strangely familiar. Then, as her mother put an arm around her daughter's shoulders she suddenly remembered. That girl reminded her of herself exactly 6 years ago on her first day of school. Everything was new to her at that time and because she was muggle-born she had no friends who went to Hogwarts, except her older brother five years her senior. With a pang, she also remembered that that day was the last day she ever saw her parents… before…

A distant memory suddenly flashed in front of her eyes, immediately followed by last night's nightmare…

She closed her eyes and mind firmly against the memories, wanting no more than to bury them in her mental graveyard forever. She opened her eyes and breathed out realizing that she had been holding her breath as well. She shifted her position and took out a photograph out of her bag. She smiled at the persons who were waving back at her. She felt herself relax as she surveyed her friends. She might be strong now, about to start her last year at Hogwarts but back then it was another thing altogether. Upon the news of their parents' tragic end she was torn apart but her brother took the brunt. He lost his mind and in the end he had to leave school to settle down and spend life in the muggle world, away from the world he now loathed so much, the world which took his parents away from him.

What with the loss of her parents and her brother's seemingly resolution to ignore his only sister, (despite the fact that she went to live with him later on), she would have killed herself. Fortunately, Fate decided to reward her with a group of friends, two other girls in particular, which took the place her family had vacated. In turn and through the years they spent at school they became steadfast friends and had it not been for them she would not be the person she was today.

After giving one last glance at the photograph, she put it back in her bag just as its living counterparts entered the compartment.

"There you are!" said Lily Evans, smiling at her and moving towards her to hug her. Lily and Phoebe had been friends right from the very first day of school. The red-head with shining green eyes was hard to miss but while they were waiting to be sorted, Phoebe was surprised to hear that Lily was pretty much in the same situation as she was. She was muggle-born, very anxious and practically friendless, unless you counted the sallow-faced dark-haired boy which seemed to shadow her wherever she went. From then on they struck up a conversation and even though afterwards they were sorted in different houses, Lily in Gryffindor and Phoebe in Ravenclaw, their friendship surpassed every test till this very moment.

After hugging Lily, Phoebe stood up to hug the rest of the crew, as she liked to call them. There was tall, athletic Stephanie who was the remaining part of the trio and who was also beater for the Gryffindor quidditch team. Lily had introduced her to Phoebe in their first week and although a little domineering at first glance, Steph turned out to be a great friend.

The rest of the crowd consisted of The Maurauders, a relatively latest addition to the group since Lily and James were not really on speaking terms previously. However, last summer, unbelievably, the two had started to go out together and so the girls had spent a lot of their holidays with the boys. Phoebe learned that under their mischievous, troublemaker façade, they had a heart of gold and were always there to help… well, in their own way.

After all the hugging and embracing, they settled down in the compartment just as the train gave a lurch and started moving along the railways. Slowly it started building up speed until the world outside was nothing more than a blur. However, immersed as they were in each other's company, Phoebe and the others hardly noticed.

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Well there it is... first chapter…Reviews…? 


	2. Chapter 2

I think it was about time I updated this story. Forgive the long absence and I hope you read and review. Also by the way Lily calls Phoebe, Phoebs for short; it sounds like 'feebs'. Just wanted to clear that out. Thanks!

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**Chapter 2**

Phoebe was sitting in class waiting for their Defence against the Dark Arts teacher to arrive. Lily was sitting on the bench next to her. James and Sirius were sitting directly behind them. She smiled as she observed James tickling and teasing Lily on the neck with his quill.

She was really happy that they had finally overcome their differences and admitted they had feelings for each other. They made a really cute couple, in between the quarrelling. But James and Lily were like that; a love and hate relationship framed by passion. She sincerely hoped it would last though as she had never seen Lily so happy. James on the other hand was over the moon. It was no secret that he had been pining and wanting to ask her out for years. She looked down at her desk top wondering when and whether she will ever find someone who'd make her feel that way.

At that moment the classroom door flew open, jerking Phoebe out of her thoughts. A low murmur spread around the class as a large box hovered inside followed by Professor Bale pointing his wand at it. He set the box in front of his desk with a loud thunk.

"Good morning class and welcome to another year at Hogwarts," said Professor Bale cheerily. "I thought I'd start the year with something different just to get you going."

He opened the box and flicked his wand. In a matter of seconds what looked like an old-fashioned projector had been set up facing the bare wall behind his desk. He flicked his wand again and the curtains slid smoothly on their reels throwing the room in semi-darkness. Phoebe and Lily stole curious excited glances at each other as did most of the pupils in the class. It wasn't often that they could watch movies in exchange for lessons.

The professor tapped the projector lightly and it came to life with a strange whirring noise. A blank grey screen appeared on the wall.

"Today we are going to talk about Dementors," said Professor Bale. On the wall a large picture of a living example appeared.

Phoebe froze and almost immediately broke into a cold sweat. Professor Bale had paused the movie so that they could get a good look at that _thing_ while he explained. Phoebe was breathing quickly and trembling. She gazed unwillingly at the wall; despite her fear she couldn't take her eyes away; it was as if she could not move. Her nightmares flashed before her eyes and with enormous effort she closed her eyes shut.

She jumped and gasped as she felt a hand over hers. However when she opened her eyes she saw that it was Lily, who was looking at her with concern. Phoebe realized that she was gripping the edge of the table so hard that her knuckles were white. She released her hold and looked at her friend, her heart still hammering.

"Are you ok?" whispered Lily. Phoebe shook her head and her eyes suddenly glazed over with unshed tears. Lily nodded, understanding and squeezed her hand. Lily was the only person who knew about her past and her nightmares. She had shared her experiences with her after Lily found a photograph of her and her brother in their room about a year ago.

The movie was playing again and the class could hear the Dementor's rattling breath as it sucked in the air and happiness around it. Phoebe gasped again, shaking.

"Phoebe?" called Lily again, not bother to whisper as she saw that her friend had turned ghostly white.

Professor Bale heard Lily calling her name and turned around. "Ms. Evans, what is all this commotion? I expected better of you!"

"I'm sorry Professor," said Lily, determinately, "but Phoebe's not feeling too good. Can I accompany her to Madam Pomfrey please?"

Professor Bale noticed Phoebe for the first time and he frowned. Most of the students were craning their necks to see what was going on.

"Of course, hurry up then." he said, waving his hands clearly feeling that he was losing control of the class. Lily quickly gathered their things as she led Phoebe out of class towards the hospital wing.

Once out of the classroom, Phoebe sensed herself calming down a little although she couldn't stop the flow of tears going down her face. Lily stopped in her tracks and gave her friend a massive hug.

"I'm sorry," said Phoebe in a muffled voice, "for being such a nuisance and for making you miss class. You did not have to do that."

"Are you kidding me?" said Lily as she moved back to survey her friend. "You'd do the same thing for me and anyone with a sane mind who knew what you have gone through would understand."

They started walking again, as Phoebe wiped her face.

"Besides, I had already read the chapter about Dementors in summer so nothing new there."

Phoebe smiled a little at that and took deep breaths in attempt to tame her anguished mind and erase those images from her brain.

...

Later that evening, Phoebe was sitting on the window chair of the Ravenclaw common room looking at the sun going down behind the mountains, lost in thought. Her last year at Hogwarts had started off in a really great way, she thought grimly. Madam Pomfrey had given her a calming draught which had worked brilliantly but she had also told her to stay there for the rest of the lesson. Lily wanted to stay with her but Phoebe would not have it, seeing as she had already lost half a lesson because of her. So Lily reluctantly left the Hospital Wing and promised she'd check up on her later that day. However she never got the chance. Phoebe never made it to the rest of the lessons, preferring instead the solitude of her own room. She didn't feel up to facing the rest of the class after what had happened in the D.A.D.A. She knew that she had to face her classmates them sooner or later, most likely tomorrow, but she knew that she wouldn't cope with it today.

Not for the first time, her feelings of sadness and despair turned to anger towards herself, for letting her fear affect her so. Since an early age she had had to be resilient, to grow up in an unforgiving world where she had to learn to fend for herself and fight against all sorts of odds. Well everything except her long-time phobia: dementors. At the mere mention of them, she became a helpless child, crippled and weak and she detested herself for that. She wished there was some way to combat her inner demons and achieve some resolution but she couldn't see how.

Just then, a snowy owl landed lightly on the window sill. It tapped the window with its beak and Phoebe saw that it had a small piece of rolled parchment tied to its leg. Phoebe hurriedly opened the window and took off the parchment. The owl flew off and Phoebe unrolled the piece of paper. It was from Lily and Phoebe felt a pang of guilt as she read its contents.

"Hi Phoebs... How are you? I got worried when I didn't see you in class after Defence. I hope everything's ok. The others have been asking me about you but I just told them you were feeling sick. I'm in the common room now if you want to talk. Password's Crimson. Miss you, Lily xx"

Phoebe thought it strange that Lily would invite her to the Gryffindor common room but then she remembered that Lily had her own private common room now that she was Head Girl. It also meant that they would have their privacy if they needed to talk about something. She made up her mind and was soon on her way towards the common room.

As soon as she stepped in the common room she realized that she had made a mistake. The common room was far from empty. Lily was surrounded by the Marauders who were obviously invited by James since he had been appointed Head boy. And right now every head in the room was turned towards her. She blushed slightly and looked at Lily. Lily gave her an awkward look meaning that she didn't know that the others would be coming over.

After an awkward short silence, she managed to say, "Hi guys!"

"Hey Phoebe," said James, "how are you feeling now?" He seemed genuinely concerned. She was touched and moved to sit down on the sofa next to Lily.

"Yeah I'm ok now... sorry if I scared you guys." she said, while looking down.

"What happened then?" asked Sirius, who was clearly not happy with her response. Lily gave him an admonishing glare which he promptly chose to ignore.

"Um.." said Phoebe, lost for words. She looked at them all in turn and realized that she had to be open and true with them. "You're not gonna believe this but I have a thing for dementors."

She'd expected the silence but she certainly did not expect the guffaw that followed. "What like a fetish or something?" said Sirius, grinning.

This time Lily actually threw an apple from a nearby fruit bowl at him, while Phoebe looked at him in disgust. James was holding his head in his hands and Remus was trying hard not to smile.

"Hey!" said Sirius, a bit offended while rubbing his forehead where the apple had left a red imprint. "What was that for?"

"Padfoot," began James, slowly. He wanted to stop his blissfully unaware friend from digging himself a deeper hole, especially seeing as Lily was reaching for another apple. "I don't think Phoebe meant 'a thing' in a sexy way. I think she's-"

"Scared.", finished Phoebe. "Mind-numbingly so. I've had that phobia since our first year."

"Well why didn't you say so immediately?" said Sirius, eyeing Lily from the corner of his eyes. "What happened then? Does it have to do with why your parents are out of the picture?" He had always wondered why she never seemed to mention her family.

"Sirius!" cried Lily, standing up and reaching for the whole bowl.

Sirius immediately raised his arms to cover his face. James stood up quickly in front of Lily trying to calm her down. Meanwhile Phoebe just sat there trying to determine, through the pain, whether Sirius was so naturally insensitive or whether he was being so on purpose.

She stood up abruptly and almost ran towards the door. Sirius and Lily stopped quarrelling immediately.

"Phoebe stop!" cried Lily, dropping the bowl and running towards her friend. "I'm sorry about this. I didn't know that ignorant fool would be here tonight... Otherwise I wouldn't-"

"No it's ok," said Phoebe, her voice raw with emotion. "I shouldn't have come here tonight. It was just a stupid mistake. I'm going to bed. Thanks for everything." She locked eyes with Lily and squeezed her hand.

She rushed out of the room and made her way hurriedly towards the Ravenclaw common room. It was only when she was in her room, in bed that she allowed herself to cry.

Back in the head boy and girl's common room...

"YOU!" shouted Lily, turning to look at Sirius.

"Uh oh," he said, standing up and backing away.

"Is it too fucking much to ask to be considerate of other people's feelings for once?" shouted Lily, all the time advancing on Sirius and pointing her finger at him. "Or are you so incompetent that you cannot accomplish the task? 'Cause if that is the case close your fucking mouth and do not say anything next time!"

Afraid that she might lunge at Sirius, James held Lily from behind as she frantically fought to free herself. "Sirius, now would be the time to apologize", he said as he narrowly avoided a punch to his eye.

"But-"started Sirius but immediately stopped as he saw the look on James' face. He sighed. "Fine. I'm sorry for speaking my mind and apparently for being such a jerk."

"You insensitive little shit!" cried Lily, trying to reach for him. Remus and Peter just sat there staring at her. They had never seen her act that way.

James held her tighter to him and turned her to face the other side. "Lily," he said in his ear. "Now you're going to calm yourself. I KNOW he's a prick," he said just as she started to protest, "but he's my friend prick and he just excused himself. So now, you're going to calm yourself and sit down and we're all going to behave like the civilized people we are supposed to be."

Lily was breathing hard but she reluctantly willed herself to calm down. When James saw that it was safe to let her go, he removed his hands and led her towards the armchair, the farthest away from where Sirius was standing. She gave him a look so murderous that he actually felt his skin crawl.

"Was she crying?," said Remus, quietly. "When she left, I mean, I thought I saw tears."

"Of course she was crying!", said Lily, louder than she'd intended, making him flinch. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. After a while she said, "I'm sorry Remus... I didn't mean to shout at you. Unlike someone else, you actually care about those around you." She looked at Sirius again, her eyes like green daggers.

"Now," said James, looking at Lily and putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's obvious that what happened to Phoebe is more than a common sickness or even a phobia. Would you care to tell us what it is Lils?"

All her anger seemed to ebb away then, being replaced by sadness. "No." she replied, slumping in her chair. "That story is for her to tell and for her alone."

"Fair enough," said James, clearly resigned.

"Suffice it to say," continued Lily as she stared into the flames of the fireplace, "that during Christmas break of our first year something horrible happened to her family and it involved the dementors. The 'incident' has unsurprisingly traumatized her. Hence her fear of them. That is what triggered her panic attack in class today."

"I'm sorry to hear this," said James. "We'll make it a point to be there for her then from now on and try to distract her from these dark thoughts."

"Yeah," said Lily smiling gratefully at him. "That's what I try to do everyday and avoid passing unnecessary hurtful comments." She gave Sirius one last disdainful.

"I think that's enough," Sirius told her pointedly. "I get it. I was wrong to say those things and I'm sorry. Sometimes I speak without actually thinking and here is the result."

"You should be apologizing to her," said Lily.

"I'll do so tomorrow, but sooner or later she'll just have to man up and face her fears. We've all had to fight our own battles."

He pointed at himself and then looked at Remus and back at her. Reluctantly she had to admit that he was right but at the moment she had no idea how she could help Phoebe do so.

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Review Pls!


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys sorry for all the angst in the first two chapters... This is a much lighter one. I hope you enjoy.

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**Chapter 3**

Sirius woke up and squinted at his bedside clock. It was 8 a.m. Just enough time to get dressed and have breakfast before lessons started. Nevertheless he stayed in bed and closed his eyes once more enjoying the moment and quiet peacefulness of their dormitory. Remus and Peter seemed to have gone down to breakfast already. He turned on his back and lifted his left arm up above his head and beneath his pillow.

He opened his eyes suddenly as he remembered what had happened last night. He smirked when he remembered Lily's transformation from cute red-head to insult-spewing angry beast. It had taken all of James' manpower to keep her from attacking him and he had no doubt she would if she'd had the chance. He gingerly touched the spot on his forehead where the apple she had thrown had hit him. Although they would undoubtedly always look out for each other, Lily and him would never really agree upon anything. He cringed a little as he remembered the reason behind Lily's aggressive behaviour towards him and he had to admit that his attitude towards Phoebe was a bit tasteless even for him. Now it was up to him to make amends.

Sighing, he got out of bed now fully awake and rummaged in his wardrobe for his uniform. He paused in the bathroom just long enough for him to wash his teeth and run his hands through his long black hair. He winked at his reflection in the mirror and walked out of the dormitory taking the steps two a time.

...

Phoebe sat at the Ravenclaw table in the Great Hall nibbling on some toast. Some of her fellow class mates kept shooting her furtive glances and speaking in hushed tones but she steeled herself and pretended not to care. She couldn't hide out in her room or Ravenclaw tower forever; that was both ridiculous and wouldn't solve anything. Besides, her next D.A.D.A. lesson was in three days which gave her ample time to mentally prepare herself in case Professor Bale intended to carry on with the topic of the Dementors.

Two fifth year girls sitting next to her were giggling and pointing to someone who had just entered the Hall. She looked towards the big wooden doors and she grimaced as she realised who it was.

_The famous Sirius Black has just graced us with his presence_, she thought bitterly as she took a sip from her goblet and looked away. She refused to think about what had happened last night and mentally shut the memories away.

The girls beside her continued sighing and making little squeals of excitement. Phoebe rolled her eyes as she rummaged in her bag for her timetable. The boy certainly had the looks, the brain and the attention but he seemed to be missing a huge amount of tact.

She was surveying that day's lessons when she suddenly became aware of the silence around her. She looked up and saw that every girl's head in her immediate vicinity was turned towards her. She groaned inwardly. She had never liked being the centre of attention.

_What did I do now?,_ she thought. Then she realized that they were not staring at her but at a spot somewhere behind her. She turned her head and locked eyes with Sirius' dark grey ones.

She blinked once, clearly at a loss for words. He seemed to notice that, _bless him_, and said, "Phoebe... Can I talk to you for a minute outside?"

A little confused, Phoebe nodded hesitantly and grabbed her bag and a piece of toast and followed him out of the Hall. On their way, Phoebe glanced over to the Gryffindor Table. Lily was looking at them a questioning look on her face. Phoebe shrugged back and almost bumped into Sirius who was standing right outside the doors of the Great Hall.

He looked at her with those intense calculating eyes of his that unnerved her and she almost choked on her toast. Then abruptly started speaking, "As you might have noticed I was never one for small talk... I rarely ever think before I think or act anddd I can be a total git sometimes to say the least."

"You think?" she said, now looking in his eyes, suddenly a bit annoyed.

He nodded and smiled almost proud of himself. "That doesn't mean I have no regrets especially when I end up unceremoniously and _unintentionally_," stressing the word, "hurting one of my friends."

He paused and looked her in the eyes. "I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way yesterday... Whatever you may be thinking or whatever that little vixen," by which Phoebe assumed he was referring to Lily, "might have told you I really did not mean to hurt you. I hope you can overlook my little problem here and we can still be friends." He finished with one of his most charming grins ever.

She smiled at him automatically and almost immediately hated herself for doing so. The bell rang signalling the start of lessons and shortly afterwards the students started streaming out of the Great Hall towards their respective classrooms.

"I guess that's OK then," she said feebly, not really knowing what to say, putting the strap of her bag over her head and on her shoulder.

He gave her a friendly clap on the back and said, "Thanks... Now I have to go and join my partners in mischief." He winked at her and turned to walk away.

"Sirius wait!" called out Phoebe, suddenly remembering something. "How did you know that my parents were involved in any of this?"

He looked at her intensely again, with a crooked half-smile on his face. "I recognized the haunted look on your face. You're not the only one with family problems Phoebe."

With that he walked a couple of steps backwards and then with a wave he walked hurriedly away and up the stairs leaving Phoebe to wonder what had happened to him and his family.

...

Phoebe's eyes closed and her head that was resting on her hand slid off. With a jerk she opened her eyes and sat up straight. She closed the book firmly while yawning.

_I think that's enough for today_, she told herself as she stood up and gathered her things. She had spent the evening in the Library researching for a particularly long essay that Professor McGonagall had given them. The last ten minutes or so had been a failing battle with herself to stay awake.

Madam Pince the librarian had long left but she often let trusted 7th Year students like Phoebe stay in the library after closing hours. As she moved towards the door she checked that all the lights were out. She closed and locked the door magically behind her and made her way slowly towards Ravenclaw Tower.

After a while she turned a corner into a particularly dark corridor. She stopped but then continued walking, shrugging and thinking that the some of the torches must have been extinguished by the draughts. When she was around mid-way down the corridor she heard a strange sound behind her, like a piece of cloth being dragged on the floor.

Her senses prickled and she turned slowly around and gasped. A dark shape wrapped in a tattered cloak was making its way slowly towards her. She could hear it hear draw huge rattling breaths as it drew near.

Confused and scared she turned to run the other way and horrified she saw that another one was drifting slowly towards her from the other end. She was trapped. She moved back terrified until she felt the wall behind her and screamed.

...

Sirius was walking up the stairs towards his dormitory. He had just been out for a run in the school grounds in his animagus form. He loved these night time strolls as they gave him time to relax and cut off from the world. Turning into a dog gave him a sense of freedom and liberty of movement which would never be possible when in human form. When he was in dog form he was also safe as anyone who chanced to see him from the castle would just see a big shaggy stray dog.

He had just turned to his left to follow the familiar path towards Gryffindor Tower when he heard the scream. He retraced his steps and took the corridor on the right, towards the direction in which he thought he had heard the scream.

A few seconds later he found Phoebe cornered by two shapes that looked to be wrapped in some black tattered cloak. At first glance they looked remarkably like a pair of dementors but in her state of panic and fear, Phoebe had not seen the pair of sneakers peeking just under the long cloak. Some of the lights were still on and although this corridor felt cold it was nowhere near the freezing temperatures that accompanied a Dementor's arrival.

Sirius smirked as he moved towards them from behind, moving quietly and brandishing his wand. He positioned himself directly behind them.

"Locomotor mortis!" he shouted as he pointed his wand at one of them. Instantly the attacker's legs snapped together and he fell over backwards as if frozen.

Before the other one had had time to register what was happening, Sirius cried, "Incarcerous!"

The second person toppled to the floor next to his comrade, bound tightly with thick snake-like ropes.

Sirius quickly stepped over them and approached Phoebe who had slid down the wall and was sitting on the floor looking at her attackers. Sirius went down on his knees and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Phoebe, it's over now... that was just a nasty prank. Look," he said as he uncovered the faces of the perpetrators who turned out to be two Slytherins from their year. "Slytherin scum"

Phoebe blushed as she slowly stood up. She did not need Sirius to tell her that these were fake Dementors. She had seen their feet and their uniform beneath the cloak they moment they'd been hexed to the ground. She felt stupid for falling for such a prank and foolish for not expecting it.

Suddenly angry, she turned towards the boy who was bound in ropes and who was vainly squirming to escape the ropes. She kicked him in the ribs. He grunted in pain but sneered at her.

"Poor wittle Ms. McAllister. Scared of the big old scary Dementor?" He spoke in a mocking high pitched voice and he started to laugh.

His laugh was cut short however when Sirius threw a silencing charm his way. With a massive effort he lifted the boy off the ground and slammed him to the wall. The boy groaned as his head hit the wall but Sirius hardly seemed to care.

"Your joke ends here," he told him in a menacing growl. "You and your friend here will not speak of this to anyone, ever again. Is that clear?"

The boy just sneered back at him. Sirius shook him again and pointed his wand between the Slytherin's eyes. "IS THAT CLEAR?!"

The Slytherin nodded and Sirius released the boy who fell back to the floor face down. Sirius kicked him round with his foot and said, "You're lucky I'm in a good mood tonight, otherwise you'd both be packed in a cupboard somewhere hexed beyond recognition. However, if I hear just one word that you're planning to do something similar like this, you'll have me and the rest of the Marauders to answer to."

With that he helped Phoebe gather her things and together they walked away leaving the two boys behind them on the floor.

"I'll accompany you to Ravenclaw Tower," said Sirius, his eyes dead fixed on the path before him.

"You don't have to," said Phoebe hurriedly. "You've done more than enough to save my hopelessly helpless ass tonight". She sighed.

Sirius looked at her sideways and smiled, "That was not a request McAllister."

She looked at him and nodded, touched that tactless and blunt Sirius Black had a heart after all. They walked in silence for a while and Phoebe wondered what he must be thinking of her. She had made a fool of herself yet again. Her face turned red when she thought how she had reacted when she saw those boys dressed as dementors... and _oh god_... she had actually screamed. Ashamed, she turned her face slightly to her left hoping that he would not see her blushing.

Sirius stole a surreptitious glance towards Phoebe as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. _She's kinda cute_, he decided smiling as he remembered her blushing and the situations in which she seemed to land herself so hopelessly. He found this vulnerable side of her quite strange and intriguing seeing as the female part of his family had always been tough and strong-minded. Even the latest addition to the group, Lily, would easily challenge the best of them.

Phoebe was different however. Although he had no doubt that there was a measure of strength within her, tonight he had experienced an overwhelming sense to protect her, to shield her from those wanting to hurt her. And that, made him feel good. He shook his head slightly, smirking at himself. These feelings were totally alien to him.

"Almost there," said Phoebe, drawing him from his thoughts. He nodded as a spiral staircase appeared before them. Although he had never been to this part of the castle before he recognized it from the Marauder's Map.

When they arrived at the bronze door of the common room, Sirius stopped and turned towards her. She smiled and said a little awkwardly, "Listen... thanks for tonight. I don't know what I'd have done if you didn't turn up."

"Don't mention it," he said waving his hand. "That way I balanced the scales."

He offered his hand and she shook it giggling. "We're even now."

"You should still do something about this phobia of yours though," he said as his expression turned a notch more serious. "You can't let it affect you and your life that way. I'm sure that if you were in a different state of mind you would have seen through that ruse immediately."

"Yeah," she sighed leaning on the railing, grateful that he chose not to make fun of her. "I just don't know what to do. I've been to therapy and all sorts of doctors, I've tried calming drafts and Muggle drugs alike but nothing seems to work."

Sirius was giving her that intense look again which made her heart skip a beat.

"I'll let the others know and I'm sure we'll think of something."

Then without a second glance he walked down the stairs, leaving her standing there. Shaking her head and smiling she entered the common room. She wasn't sure she would ever get used to his dead-pan behaviour.

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Note: I'm not sure if the colour of Sirius' eyes were ever mentioned in the books but I always imagined him with black or very dark grey eyes, hence his character here. Please REVIEW. It would mean a great deal to me. Thanks.


	4. Chapter 4

Note: I researched the colour of Sirius' eyes and he does have grey eyes! Thanks to hp-Lexicon for the info. Very useful site for when you're in doubt. Now on to the next chapter :)

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**Chapter 4**

"That's when Sirius showed up and cursed the both of them ...and when I realised that they were just students after all." Phoebe finished recounting her story sheepishly.

Lily smiled at her and squeezed her hand. James patted Sirius on the back; the latter was grinning.

"What happened to the two Slytherins?" asked Peter, clearly wanting to hear more.

"I have no idea..." said Phoebe, glancing at Sirius. "We just left them there."

They laughed and Sirius did a little bow.

"You know Padfoot... this is an excellent excuse for getting back at the Slytherins." said James, his eyes lit with mischief.

"James," said Lily, with an admonishing look just as Sirius had started to agree with him. "You're a Head Boy now."

James pretended to pout and gave Lily his best puppy-eyed expression. She began smiling almost immediately.

"No, I don't want you to get involved in this." said Phoebe. "All I want is to get rid of this ridiculous fear so that I can avoid such situations in the first place."

"Yeah, about that." said Sirius. "I've been looking through Moony's books."

Everyone stared at him; no-one had ever seen Sirius read a book. Remus nervously wondered what had become of the book he had apparently borrowed.

"If you're quite finished gawking at me, I'll tell you all about it." said Sirius with a half-smile.

"What is it then?" said Phoebe, a bit excited that there could be a solution to her problem after all.

Sirius produced a folded piece of parchment from his pocket. "A boggart." he said, as he unfolded the paper and set it on the table so that everyone could see. It was an informative piece about boggarts and how to defend oneself against them. Phoebe surveyed the paper comprehending instantly; she was familiar with boggarts, having read something about them somewhere.

"Padfoot... Is that what I think it is?" Remus asked in a deadly serious tone.

"Yes Moony... It's from your book-"

"You tore it from my book!"

"It's from your book BUT it's just a copy!" shouted Sirius, producing the original book and handing it over to Remus who immediately opened and flicked through it to check for missing or torn pages. After a bit, apparently not finding any he closed the book and looked up. Sirius was looking at him, smirking. "Satisfied?"

Before Remus could reply, Phoebe said, "This is a good idea but how are we going to smuggle a boggart into school?"

"We don't." he said simply. "Professor Dumbledore will ask Professor Bale to procure one for us."

Phoebe raised an eyebrow. "And what makes you so sure Professor Dumbledore will agree to that?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm sure his favourite Head Boy and Girl here will manage to convince him." He looked pointedly at James and Lily.

Lily narrowed her eyes at Sirius. Seeing this, Phoebe said, "You don't have to do it... I'll find another way around this."

"Nonsense." said Lily. "We'll talk to Professor Dumbledore this very evening; we have a meeting with him. I'm sure he'll understand." James nodded.

"Thank you" said Phoebe, grateful. "Everyone." She looked at them all in turn.

Sirius held her gaze but then looked at Remus and Peter, handing them The Map. "You both are to look for a classroom, an unused room, anywhere where we can practice."

"And what are _you_ going to do?" asked Lily, crossing her arms.

"I'm going to help Phoebe practice of course," he said nonchalantly.

Lily scoffed and Phoebe said, "You seem pretty confident that you're qualified for the job."

He looked at her and smiled, lifting one corner of his mouth in the process in what Phoebe liked to dub his know-it-all smile.

"_Because_ I have actually mastered the spell." He took out his wand and pointed across the room away from them.

He took a few seconds and then shouted, "Expecto Patronum!"

Something white and bright shot out at the end of his wand. It ran along the perimeter of the room before stopping right in front of Sirius. In those instances before it began to dissolve and fade away, Phoebe realized it was a huge, shaggy dog.

...

As predicted by Sirius, Professor Dumbledore had accepted James' and Lily's request and Professor Bale had found a boggart within two days. Remus and Peter took a while longer to find a room but they finally succeeded in finding a former store-room in the dungeon. It was far away from the classrooms and the Slytherin common-room ensuring that they would have the privacy they needed.

Since it was quite dark inside, Phoebe had transfigured some chalk into floating candles which she had promptly lit. Sirius was impressed, though he suspected that they would not stay lit for long when practice started.

He placed the box containing the boggart in the centre of the room using a hover charm. It rattled slightly from time to time and Phoebe eyed it warily.

Sirius waved his hand and several cushions and pillows sprouted like mushrooms on the floor beneath her.

"What are these for?" asked Phoebe, partly confused and partly curious.

Not wanting to scare her, he said, "Let's just hope you won't be needing them."

In Remus' book he had read that reactions to Dementors, in this case the shape which the boggart will take, varied widely depending on the type of memories that the person had accumulated throughout the years. Judging by the way Phoebe had reacted to them so far he thought it better to be safe and prepare for the worst. He did not tell her any of this though as he did not want to influence her.

Once he was satisfied that everything was ready and in place he told her to stand directly in front of the box. "So... once I open the box your worst fear will step out."

"A dementor." Phoebe nodded, swallowing hard.

"Yes at which point you will point the wand at the guy and intonate the words _Expecto Patronum_."

"Sounds easy enough" she said, pursing her lips. "Where's the catch?"

He walked towards her twirling his wand in his hand. "The trick is to be confident. Remember that a dementor thrives on your despair and your worst memories. Therefore to counteract its effect and produce a powerful Patronus you need to think of the happiest memory you can conjure."

He gave her a few minutes to think about it. She finally settled on a family vacation at Disneyland when her brother and she were still little kids.

Feeling a bit more confident she raised her wand and told Sirius that she was ready.

He nodded and waved his wand at the box. The lid rose upwards and a dementor came out. Instantly the temperature in the room dropped drastically and most of the candles flickered and died, throwing the room in partial darkness.

Phoebe froze as the dementor advanced towards her, the familiar horrible scenes passing before her eyes. Her outstretched hand wavered and started shaking. A rotted scabbed hand emerged from beneath the cloak, reaching for throat. Her heart was hammering and she felt drained as her mother's pained screams resounded in her ears.

"Think happy thoughts!" shouted Sirius.

"Ex... Ex pec-.." she tried to say the words but her tongue felt heavy. She tried to remember the holiday but she couldn't. Her vision blurred just as the dementor lunged towards her and she fainted, falling to the floor.

When she came around, she was propped on the cushions and Sirius was kneeling besides her with a concerned expression on his face. She smiled wryly, realizing what must have happened and sat up.

"I'm glad you thought of the cushions." she said.

"Here," said Sirius handing her a piece of chocolate. "Eat it. It will help."

She raised her eyebrows but ate it all the same. Sirius was staring at her as if he expected her to faint again. After a while, he helped her to stand up. "Are you ready to try again?"

She nodded meekly and positioned herself in front of the box. At least now she knew what to expect. Right before he opened the lid of the box, she filled her mind with memories of their holiday, the four of them laughing and enjoying themselves...

By the time Sirius decided to call it a day, she had fainted and fallen around 15 times, ate her way through a whole bar of chocolate and was hurting in a dozen different places (despite the cushions). Her only measure of progress, if you can call it so, was towards the end when her wand tip emitted a few white sparks. She had been too distracted that something had actually happened to notice that the dementor was suddenly upon her. Then she had screamed and promptly blanked out once more.

She leaned against the door frame as she watched Sirius lock the boggart box. He put a disillusionment charm on it to prevent it from being discovered and they made their way up to the upper floors.

"That was a nice start," he said after a while.

She snorted, "Yeah right... more like a waste of time."

"I don't think so." he said, his tone serious. "The Patronus charm is advanced magic and it needs a lot of practice. It took me weeks to master it and we're talking about _me_ here so don't push yourself too hard."

She rolled her eyes and punched him playfully on the shoulder, laughing.

"Proud much?" she said as they reached the Great Hall. It was empty; dinner time had ended around an hour ago. He grinned at her and she got a funny feeling in her stomach.

She had expected him to climb the stairs and head for the dormitories but instead he took the right-hand corridor below the stairs.

"Where are you going?" she said, almost running to keep up with his long strides.

"The kitchens, to grab some dinner." he said simply as they stopped in front of a portrait depicting a fruit bowl. He tickled the pear and it began to squirm and giggle, turning slowly into a door knob. Sirius swung the door open. She gasped as she beheld the scene in front of her. Countless house elves were milling around polished tables, washing the floors, tidying up and cleaning the dishes.

One of them who seemed to be in charge approached them and bowed deeply. "What would the master and mistress require of us?"

Sirius placed a hand on his chin thinking and turned towards her. "What would you like?"

She shrugged still slightly open-mouthed. "Whatever you're having."

He turned towards the house-elf who was patiently waiting in a front of them. "We'll have something of everything that was served at dinner tonight then."

"Yes Master Black." The house-elf bowed again and hurriedly relayed his orders to the others. Phoebe suspected that this was not the first time that Sirius had visited the school kitchens at night. A little while later they left the kitchen with a bulging wicker basket full of mouth-watering food. Phoebe's stomach rumbled loudly and she blushed and giggled at the same time. Sirius laughed as he bit down on a slice of cheese pie.

...

Later a very full and exhausted Phoebe crashed happily in her four-poster bed. A smile played on her lips and she soon drifted off to sleep. Although her nightmares returned that night, they did not wake her up and in the morning she did not remember them.

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I really love how this story is turning out. What do you think?


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for reviewing – it really makes my day! This next chapter is quite important. Enjoy! :]

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**Chapter 5**

Phoebe's eyes flickered open and Sirius' face slowly materialized into view.

"It's happened again didn't it?" she said scowling. He nodded, half-smiling.

She tried to rise up but howled with pain as soon as she raised her head. Sirius pushed her gently down.

"Easy," he warned her. "You hit your head as you fell."

She touched her head a little worried and winced with pain as she located a big bump at the back. Thankfully she didn't seem to be bleeding.

Just then she noticed that Sirius was locking the boggart box and hiding it from view with magic.

"What are you doing?" she asked as he turned towards her.

"That's enough practice for today. I'm taking you to the Hospital Wing so that Madam Pomfrey can take a look at your head."

"Good luck to her then." she joked sarcastically, despite the pain in her head. Sirius chuckled and helped her to stand up.

Her first instinct had been to protest and continue practicing but almost immediately she realized that she'd have to pass for tonight. She had been practicing almost every day and the lessons were taking their toll. Having to face a dementor multiple times a day was both mentally and physically draining and she knew that she wouldn't last much further now with her head throbbing this much.

As they walked, she thought about the last two weeks and not for the first time she felt frustrated. Despite her best efforts, she still hadn't made much progress. The closest thing to a Patronus she had produced were a few wisps of white smoke which disintegrated almost immediately as they made contact with the boggart dementor. Her nightmares had also lessened in intensity but apart from that, there was nothing else.

Sirius had suggested thinking about something else and choosing another happy memory but except for the time spent with her friends at Hogwarts, with deep sadness she realized that she did not have much left. She tended to block out anything that reminded her of her parents as it was too painful to cope with. As a result she had unwittingly erased a huge chunk of her life.

If it weren't for Sirius, she would have given up ages ago. His determination was the only thing that kept her going sometimes. She was amazed at how much effort he was putting into this. She had always thought of him as an irresponsible and spoiled brat who was too intelligent and good looking for his own good. However, after spending so much time with him and as she got to know him better she had begun regarding him with a newfound respect.

...

Once Madam Pomfrey had finished inspecting her head and tutting disapprovingly she ordered Phoebe to go and lie down on one of the beds. Then she gave her a deflating solution for the swelling and told her to stay calm and avoid moving erratically. Sirius asked her if he could stay with her for a while. The nurse was about to object but then she consented as long as Phoebe stayed in bed and rested.

"You don't have to stay here," said Phoebe embarrassed, as soon as Madam Pomfrey retired in her office. "I don't want to take up more of your time."

"That's OK. I don't mind." said Sirius, straddling a chair on reverse and resting his chin on its back. "James is really enjoying his extra time with Lily alone."

She laughed and instantly regretted it as her head was still pounding. His hair fell slightly in his eyes as he looked at her and she suddenly felt happy that he had decided to stay.

"Does your head still hurt a lot?" he asked, noticing her wincing.

"Yeah," she said trying to stay still. "It will pass though."

"I took a nasty hit to the head with a bludger once last summer while we were playing Quidditch at James' place." He smiled as he reminisced.

"You guys seem to spend a lot of time together. Do you visit him often?," said Phoebe, trying to sit up without moving her head. Being muggle-born, she had always wondered what it was like to grow up in a pure-blood family.

Sirius nodded and simply said, "I live with him now."

Phoebe frowned and asked, "Why? What happened to your parents?"

"Nothing...unfortunately. I ran away from home last year and I haven't talked to them since", he said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Phoebe stared at him and then she seemed to catch herself and looked away, blushing slightly. "I'm sorry... I didn't know. I didn't mean to pry into your personal life."

Sirius shrugged. "There's nothing really worthwhile to pry about. I happened to be born in one of the oldest Magical Families in Britain." His grey eyes seemed to turn darker as he spoke and his face contorted in disgust. "My parents believe that muggles and muggleborns are beneath them and have no problem in saying so openly. So imagine their disappointment when their son was sorted in Gryffindor and refused to follow the family traditions. I simply rejected and opposed every decision they made until my mother disowned me and blasted my name off the family tree. By then I had had enough and so I left. Thankfully Mr. and Mrs. Potter took me in."

Phoebe was astonished; she had had no idea that Sirius had gone through that much. On seeing him at school with his friends, you'd think that this boy had never had a single bad day in his life. Now she realized that she was not the only one with a troubling past.

"I'm sorry about that. I had no idea," she muttered at a loss for words.

Sirius flicked his head to remove his hair out of his eyes and said, "Nothing to be sorry about. Leaving the house was the best decision I have ever made."

He stood up, turned the chair around and sat down again, stretching his long legs before him. He put his hands in his trouser pockets and said, "Now you know the story behind Padfoot, the greatest student ever to grace this school."

She smiled, "Well, it certainly did nothing to dampen your sense of self-esteem!"

"I'm amazing just like that," he replied while looking at her. She felt her heart racing under the intensity of his gaze.

"What about you?" he asked suddenly. Her smile faltered and she looked down at her hands.

She opened her mouth to speak but hesitated and closed it again. As soon as she thought of her parents her mind seemed to block them out automatically; thinking about them was too painful and it felt like re-opening a wound that had never really healed properly.

Sensing her discomfort, Sirius leaned forward and said, "Don't worry... Forget I ever asked. I spoke out of turn again."

"No," she croaked out shaking her head. "It's okay."

Deep down inside her she knew that as much as she tried to block out her memories and feelings, she wanted to speak to someone about what happened, to trust in someone else and share her load, to open her heart as she once did with Lily. Something about this moment felt right. After taking a deep breath, she started speaking; slowly at first but soon the words came tumbling out.

"I never knew why it happened and how as I wasn't there when it did. All I know is that one morning exactly on the 13th of November when I was still in my first year, my brother and I were summoned to the headmaster's office. As soon as I entered, I knew that something was wrong; I felt it in the pit of my stomach long before I set eyes on Dumbledore's and Flitwick's grave expressions. With growing dread, I realized that there were two other persons in the office who introduced themselves as the Minister of Magic and an auror. They told me to sit down. I obeyed immediately but my brother remained standing up preferring to know what had happened. I listened as Dumbledore told us that that very night our parents were attacked by a pack of dementors who were apparently set upon them by some rebel anti-muggle wizards.

At that point I didn't really understand much what was happening. I knew that I kept asking myself questions like what are dementors? Where are my parents? Are they going to be OK? I was also dimly aware that my brother was shouting himself hoarse at the men from the ministry and asking them how they could have let such a thing happen.

Then after that it was all a rush. I remember that we took a portkey to St. Mungo's where we were told my parents were being kept under strict observation. We appeared a few streets down to prevent the muggles from seeing us and walked the rest on foot. On the way I kept asking my brother what happened to our parents and why they weren't taken to a normal muggle hospital but he refused to look at me, let alone answer my questions. He just walked and stared blankly ahead as if in a trance. In the hospital's lobby, Dumbledore took me aside and gently and patiently explained and answered all my questions. He also added that as a result of the attack my parents had suffered serious mental injuries. As I walked towards the ward, I remember trying to tell myself that they were going to be OK and that everything will turn out right in the end but it wasn't until I saw my parents on the hospital beds that the horrible truth began to sink in."

Phoebe paused to catch her breath and clear her voice. The tears were falling freely down her face but she was past the point of caring. After some seconds she continued.

"My parents were just lying there... their eyes were open but they were not seeing... I tried calling their name, holding their hands and shaking them but if they heard or recognized me they never showed it. I began crying and shaking them harder and shouting until a pair of hands dragged me away, outside in the corridor. Another two men were trying to restrain my brother who seemed to have smashed his knuckles against the wall. I saw that he was crying as well and then I definitely knew that there was no turning back. I had never seen my brother cry... He used to be so happy, always fooling around and joking. He never took anything seriously... You'd have liked him... But then he changed forever. He never really returned to being the brother I remembered and he left school soon afterwards. We went to live with our aunt who was a witch but my brother hardly ever said a word.

Later, through my own research and after I overheard my aunt speaking, I learned that my parents had received the Dementor's Kiss... They never had a chance... They were muggles and so they couldn't see the dementors approaching. They were now void of any soul and would never ever remember me and my brother. I used to visit them in hospital although my brother never accompanied me. I tried talking to them, I took photos and played songs but nothing worked. They just stared up at the ceiling. They may have been breathing but I knew that inside they were already dead. The life that I remembered was gone along with my parents so I stopped going to the hospital altogether. Around two weeks later, my aunt told me that they had died as their physical bodies couldn't co-exist for long without their souls. I remember that I didn't cry then, I didn't have any more tears left to shed. I was just relieved that they had passed on so that they may then achieve a measure of peace.

After that and the funeral, it was just a continuous fight with myself to keep on living as normally as possible. Lily helped a lot with that and I'll be forever indebted to her. With her help, I focused all my energies on my studies and my life at school and slowly I learned to block out the memories of my parents and the pain with them. The nightmares and fears never truly left me though..."

Her voice trailed off and she wiped her eyes. Sirius had never, not for once interrupted her. He just sat there listening in silence.

"There... now you know why my parents are never around." She said, trying to smile but failing. "You know what hurts the most? That the ones responsible were never caught. My parents are gone and those murderers are still running free."

Fresh tears started falling down her face and suddenly she couldn't take it anymore. She started crying her heart out like she had never cried before. She cried for the parents she had never had a chance to say goodbye to, she cried for the brother she had lost and most of all she cried for herself and the memories that were stolen from her.

Sirius was suddenly next to her. He put his arms around her, hugged her tightly and sat like that until her crying subsided and finally stopped. He walked to the bed next to hers and got a box of tissues. He sat back down on the bed and placed the box on the bed and waited for her to calm down.

She took several tissues at once and wiped her face. Her eyes were probably red and felt puffy but she felt better than she had ever felt in ages. Even her headache seemed to have subsided. "I'm sorry," she sniffed as she leaned back on the pillows. "I don't know what came over me."

"I'm the one who's sorry," said Sirius, uncharacteristically serious and quiet. "No wonder you've been having those nightmares."

She sniffed but didn't say anything. He wiped a tear that was making its way towards her chin and suddenly she had the impulse to throw her arms around him. However she looked down instead and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. Despite everything, she felt strangely at peace.

Just then Madam Pomfrey came to check on her. She gave Phoebe a strange look but thankfully didn't say anything. "The bump seems to be going down nicely but I think it's better if you spend the night here just in case."

Phoebe grimaced but nodded. Madam Pomfrey turned on Sirius. "You though, have to go."

"Right." he said while standing up. "I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow in class I guess."

He ran a hand through his long black hair which promptly fell back in his eyes. Phoebe suddenly wanted to run her hands through his hair. She mentally shook herself. _What the heck is going on with her tonight?_ Being so emotional did strange things to her.

She thanked him for everything, excused herself for breaking down once more and waved goodbye. He turned to go but when he was at the door he turned to look back at her.

"Hey Phoebe... I appreciate you sharing that with me. Now I can understand better where you're coming from... and you should give yourself more credit; to go through what you have and still be able to conduct a normal life is just... brave. You're much stronger than you think." He gave her one last look and left.

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This chapter took me around 4 or 5 hours to write but I enjoyed it immensely. I hope you have too and that I was able to convey what Phoebe has gone through. I love Sirius forever and ever ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Note: As I re-read the previous chapters today I realised there were a few mistakes, which always seem to pop up despite how many times I review my work before posting. So sorry for that. Here's chapter 6.

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**Chapter 6**

Sirius lay awake in bed for a long time after he left Phoebe in the Hospital Wing. He had always prided himself in being in control and knowing exactly what he wanted. Now his mind was riddled by thoughts; bits and pieces of the conversations he'd had with her and images of the girl herself kept flowing through his mind in an endless stream. Something about the girl was slowly challenging everything he had ever felt before and with amusement he wondered if he was turning into James. Grimly, he thought again about what had happened to her family and angrily he realized that the reason behind Phoebe's tragic past and his own was one and the same: the persecution of muggle-borns.

He balled his hands into fists as he remembered his parents, first amongst those who advocated this twisted philosophy. That was one of the reasons why he wanted to become an auror. It would be the ultimate thorn in their side, knowing their son was fighting against them and what they believed in. Apart from being in the midst of the action itself, he wanted to do his part in bringing about justice for those who truly deserved it, like Phoebe. He smiled as his thoughts returned to her. With surprise he realized he was looking forward to seeing her again in class and more so during practice in the dungeons. For the first time in his life, Sirius Black had butterflies in his stomach.

...

"Are you sure you're ok?" said Lily as she fussed over Phoebe, checking out every inch of her head.

There were walking down the corridor between classes and Phoebe had told her what happened. The bump at the back of her head seemed like a distant memory now but the feelings when Sirius had hugged her and or looked at her were still very fresh in her mind. She smiled and told Lily not to worry about it.

Lily frowned and said, "I just wish Sirius would be more careful. Everything seems to be a joke for him."

"I don't think so," said Phoebe causing Lily to look at her strangely. "He's really determined to get this thing through. Besides it was just an accident; he cannot possibly control everything's that happening... and I'm not a child, Lily. I can deal with it."

Lily shrugged and said, "If you say so..." Then after a while, "Speak of the devil..."

They had arrived at the Transfiguration classroom where their next lesson was going to be held. Sirius was standing with James and the others in the doorway. As soon as they saw them, James and Sirius broke into almost identical wide grins, which made Phoebe giggle lightly.

"How are you feeling?" said Sirius as they entered the classroom to find a place to sit down.

"Good." she said with a smile. "I can't feel a thing."

Just then Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway and everyone scrambled to find their place. Sirius sat down next to James just across from her and Lily. The lesson passed on as normal, although sometimes Phoebe would catch Sirius looking at her. Instead of looking away though like any average person would do, he would establish eye contact and smile, smirk, wink, make a funny face or whatever struck his whim.

Phoebe found it really hard to keep a straight face until Lily elbowed her lightly in her side and whispered, "What's going on with you two?!"

"Nothing," whispered back Phoebe, avoiding Lily's questioning eyes.

Lily raised an eyebrow but thankfully didn't say anything more. From that moment on, Phoebe paid more attention to class and tried to avoid looking sideways at Sirius although she found it surprisingly hard.

At the end of the lesson, McGonagall started giving out some corrected work. Phoebe was pleased to see that she got a good grade and earned a very rare smile from her teacher. However, the same couldn't be said for Sirius who was on the receiving end of one of McGonagall's particularly vicious glares. Phoebe could see a large D circled with red ink at the top of his paper. Sirius seemed unfazed though and looked back, amusement playing lightly in his eyes.

"Mr. Black," she said, clearly exasperated. "I wish you'd give your essays the same effort you give to pranking and joking. You would have easily gotten Exceeds Expectations or even Outstanding if you would have put your mind to it."

"My mind does tend to wander a lot on other things, Professor," he said, causing half the class to laugh out loud.

"This is not funny!" snapped McGonagall and everyone quietened down immediately. "Mr Black, you can kiss your dreams of becoming an Auror goodbye if you continue down this path."

Sirius' smile faltered a bit but he did his best to conceal it. Just then the bell ran and everyone gathered their things and started to shuffle out.

Phoebe approached Sirius and said, "Can I have a look at it?" while pointing at his paper.

Sirius shrugged and handed her his work. She scanned his writing briefly noting the parts marked in red which seemed to be almost all of it and said, "You've gone totally out of point."

"No shit," he said as he stood up and took his parchment back. She was surprised to hear some bitterness in his voice.

"I can help you with your homework if you want." she said, fumbling with her bag. He gave her The Look again. "Look at it this way... it's a kind of pay back for everything you did for me."

"Ok... I could use a little bit of help," he said in a low voice, almost a little pained to admit it.

...

The days passed by quickly, probably appearing to do so with the amount of things they had to do and keep track of. Phoebe and Sirius continued to practice attacks against the dementor/boggart. Although she had not yet managed to produce a fully-functioning Patronus, an indistinct shape was now shooting out of her wand only to dissolve a few seconds later. Despite this, to her great satisfaction now she had stopped fainting although she still felt drained and dizzy towards the end of the session. She had also not had a single bad dream in weeks. This affected a lot her behaviour and she was smiling more often, her face glowing; a thing that had not passed unnoticed by many including Lily who lately had made it a point to find out what was really going on between her and Sirius.

Phoebe would just smile back at her and tell her that nothing was going on and that they were just practicing the Patronus charm and she was occasionally helping him with his homework. However, deep down Phoebe knew that that wasn't entirely true. She had noticed it in the smallest of things: the secret looks they gave each other which lingered a heartbeat more than usual, the smiles, that sudden tingling and swooping sensation whenever their fingers touched accidentally or the general sense of warmth and happiness that settled deep within her whenever she was with him. There was also the fact that he seemed to be occupying the vast majority of her thoughts and the unbearable long hours between one dementor-busting session to another.

It was with this feeling of sweet anticipation that she made her way towards the dungeons one evening in mid-October. She was almost skipping and couldn't seem to stop smiling. When she entered the room she saw that Sirius had already set everything up. He was leaning on a table facing the door and his face seemed to light up when he saw her. She positioned herself in front of the box.

"Ready?" called out Sirius. She smiled at him and nodded. He opened the box and out flew the dementor. All her muscles seemed to seize up but she held her ground. She pointed her wand towards the approaching Dementor and shouted, "Expecto Patronum!"

Something white shot out of her wand but with dismay, Phoebe realized it still had no distinct shape looking more like a little cloud. The dementor passed through it easily, now almost upon her. Phoebe fell down to her knees, her breath coming out raggedly.

"Riddikulus!" shouted Sirius and the dementor seemed to suddenly trip on his cloak and fell sprawling on the floor. Before it had a chance to turn on him, Sirius forced the boggart inside the box with his wand.

Phoebe cried out in frustration as she sat down on one of the cushions on the floor, her previous cheerful mood dissipating just as her Patronus had. Sirius went over to her and crouched down so as to be at her level. Her head was bowed, her long hair falling forward concealing her face.

"Come on... it doesn't matter. Get up, let's try again." he said, peering down and trying to see her face.

She looked up and puffed out her cheeks."How long will this take?"

"I don't know," said Sirius, trying not to put her down. "I'm pretty sure you'll master the charm soon though."

"There must be something I'm doing wrong," said Phoebe, as she ran a hand through her hair making it stick on end.

Sirius sat down opposite her, thinking of how cute she looked with her hair like that. "You should try to think of something else... a happier memory. Maybe this one's not strong enough.", he replied, re-visiting his previous theory.

Phoebe took a deep breath. "I don't have that many happy memories left." she said in a small voice. Then after thinking a bit about it, she said "Well not if you count the times I spend with the others and... you."

She blushed as she looked at him. It was hard to know what was going on in his mind as his expression never changed. He just looked at her, grey eyes searching. She had started thinking that she'd made a mistake by telling him when he leaned forward and whispered, "Then let me give you one."

Then he was suddenly kissing her and her body temperature seemed to flare as a feeling of warmth seeped through her starting from her stomach and flowing outwards towards her limbs. She closed her eyes and found herself kissing him back, surprised at how much she wanted to.

He pulled back and lifted a corner of his mouth in a smile. "How are you feeling?"

She took a second to answer, her mind still reeling. Her mouth seemed to work on its own and she said, "Happy..." while in her mind she was still trying to understand what had just happened.

"Do you want to try again?" he said as he helped her stand up.

She nodded, not able to stop grinning foolishly.

This time when she stood in front of box she felt like she was standing on cloud nine. Sirius stood to her left just in front of her. She told him to proceed and he waved his wand at the box which opened. The dementor flowed out once more. As it approached her, it still affected her a little but now it was as if they were separated by a thick impenetrable wall. She raised her wand hand and locked eyes with Sirius. He smiled and nodded.

Filling her mind and heart with the sensations she had experienced a few moments ago, she took a deep breath and hollered, "Expecto Patronum!" as firmly as she could. This time she knew she had gotten it right even before it actually happened. The Patronus shot out of her wand like a bullet. It was a dazzling bright silvery white and it raced towards the dementor forcing him back inside the box. Then it turned around and made its way towards her. Joyfully she realized that it was a lioness, beautiful, elegant but strong. It stayed long enough for Phoebe to touch it lightly on the nose before it faded away. Then she turned to look at Sirius who was grinning widely and clapping. She squealed with happiness, jumping up and down.

"Well do-" he started to say but stopped as Phoebe suddenly ran towards him, throwing her arms around his neck. Sirius suddenly lost his balance and they fell backwards on the cushions below.

They looked at each other for a second and then burst out laughing. When their laughter finally stopped, Sirius asked her, "Are you sure you weren't supposed to be in Gryffindor?", clearly referencing the shape that her Patronus had taken.

She giggled and then said, "The sorting hat actually considered it before putting me in Ravenclaw."

His grey eyes were fixed intensely on her again, making her squirm in pleasure inside deciding that she loved it when he looked at her like that. He put his hand on her face, knotting his hand in her hair and pulling her towards him. They shared another kiss and this one lasted much longer. Phoebe pressed her body closer to his afraid that he would vanish and fade away like a dream.

When she opened her eyes he was still there though, his eyes now shining with mischief.

"Uh oh... I know that look," she said, smiling. "It spells trouble."

"So you think you can keep up with me?" he asked smirking.

"Why don't you try me and find out?" she replied back, looking in his eyes.

She had barely finished speaking when he suddenly flipped her over, pinning her to the floor and started tickling her mercilessly.

"That's... not... fair!" she cried out breathlessly between laughs as she twisted this way and other trying to free herself.

Sirius just smiled lost in the amazing sound of her laughter and her voice.

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Tehehehe :) Just a little fact: The name Phoebe is Greek for 'bright' and 'shining' and Sirius is the name of the brightest star in the night sky. Get it? ;)


	7. Chapter 7

This is the last and final chapter guys. Thanks to those who reviewed or followed this story! :]

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**Chapter 7**

The Marauder's and Lily's cheers filled the room as Phoebe's Patronus crossed the room. She felt like a little child who had just passed her first test. After their last lesson she couldn't wait to show the others what she had achieved. It felt right since she they had always supported her throughout.

"Well done," said Lily while she hugged her tightly. "I am so happy for you... I know this will help a lot."

Phoebe nodded and said, "Well I couldn't have done it without Sirius". She looked at him, smiling and he answered with a charming smile of his own, which now he only reserved for her.

Lily, ever so sharp, did not fail to notice this.

"What is really going on between you two?" asked Lily quietly, drawing her a little away. "And if you say 'nothing' again, I'll use Veritaserum."

Phoebe laughed, surprised that Lily was that curious to the extent of making threats. "Let's just say... We're definitely out of the friend zone." She looked down, her face split in a wide smile.

"Ha!" said Lily, gesturing with her hands. "I knew it!"

Then she fell quiet. Phoebe looked up at her and noticed the expression of slight concern on her face. "What's wrong?" she asked, frowning.

"I'm a bit worried..." she said while crossing her arms. "Sirius is not exactly the most trustworthy."

Phoebe smiled and said, "Well neither was James before you got to know him."

Lily laughed and nodded, "In that case if you're happy, I'm happy." She hugged Phoebe and continued, "But if he so much as says a single word out of place..."

"I know," replied Phoebe. "You'll be there to kick his ass."

"And a sexy ass at that," quipped Sirius, while joining them.

Lily scoffed and eying him she said, "My warning still stands."

Sirius feigned shock and fear and Phoebe laughed.

"Come on," he said while grabbing her hand and leading her towards the door.

"Where are we going?" she asked curiously.

"You'll see," he replied mysteriously while smiling.

Lily watched them go with a mixture of trepidation and joy. If it had been up to her, Sirius would not have even made it in the Top 10 eligible suitors for her friend due to his reputation with the girls. However, reluctantly, she had to admit that Sirius was also one of the best things that had happened to Phoebe lately. She had never seen her so light hearted and radiant and most importantly she had finally overcome her long-time fear. She glanced at James and Phoebe's earlier words reverberated in her mind again. Maybe there was a lot more to Sirius than what meets the eye...

...

There was no moon in the sky and so the stars shone brightly and expansively above them. The air was still and cold but fresh and their breaths came out in tiny puffs of steam. Phoebe shivered a little and Sirius gripped her hand tighter and smiled at her. She had never been out on the school grounds at night and for a good reason. It was forbidden; a word which clearly did not exist in Sirius' dictionary. She knew she should be more worried but with Sirius she felt safe and relaxed. It was as if all her worries had disappeared and it was just him and her.

At first she had thought that he was leading her towards the forest but then he veered to the right and they walked along a path by the lake framed by trees on one side and low bushes and reeds on the other. The only sounds were those of their feet on the grass, the lazy lap of the water against the shore and the occasional cricket.

"It's so quiet and peaceful," she said, whispering unconsciously.

"I know," whispered back Sirius. "But we don't have to whisper."

Phoebe laughed and said, "I've never been out here at night."

"Are you kidding me?!" said Sirius, while looking at her. "I've been out her countless times... I can never have enough of this place."

Phoebe smiled as Sirius stopped near a small patch of grass in between the bushes. He spread out a blanket which he had grabbed on their way out and motioned for her to lie down. Feeling a bit sheepish, she did as she was told and lay down next to him. When she raised her head towards the sky she gasped.

"This is beautiful," she said as she surveyed the night sky above her. A myriad of stars and constellations shone and twinkled like a sea of diamonds. She had never taken the time to observe the stars apart from her Astronomy lessons but even then they usually focused on one constellation or star in particular. This was the whole thing, she felt like she could get lost in it.

"I know," said Sirius quietly, startling her a little as she had forgotten that he was lying down so close to her.

She looked at him and said, "I would never have put you down as a star-gazer Sirius Black."

He smiled, one arm beneath his head, still looking upwards. "There are a lot of things you still don't know about me Ms. McAllister."

She returned his smile and looked back at the stars, thinking about all that happened since the start of term. "I don't know what I would have done without your help."

Sirius' fingers closed over hers and she found him looking at her. "You're not the only one with more to gain here." he said. He drew her closer so that her head was resting on his chest just below his chin.

"Ooh, look!" said Phoebe, pointing just then a shooting star sped across the sky.

"Make a wish," said Sirius amused.

Phoebe looked at him and said, "I wish..." but she never got to finish her sentence as Sirius was suddenly kissing her.

After a short time he pulled back and in mock surprise said, "I'm sorry... wasn't that what you were wishing for?"

Phoebe giggled and whispered, "That and more ... but for now it will do just fine."

They kissed again as another star shot by.

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THE END. Any last reviews? If you're interested, you can check out my other stories. Thanks :)


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